Once upon a time, there was a man with a shed half full of red oak lumber. One day, while on a business trip with his father, the man stopped at a domestic hardwood store. His plan was to browse around and get prices, and maybe spend a little time dreaming of what could be someday in the future when he would hopefully have some money to spend there.
While browsing the vast selections of walnut, cherry, oak, maple, alder, ash, hickory, and elm, the man found a beautiful rare piece of flame maple. The board was quite large, and visions of dozens of electric guitar bodies danced in the man's mind. Sadly, this was a piece of wood that was over $80, and would require at least another $30 to get it into a useful state. The man knew he could not do this, so he bid the lovely piece of flame maple farewell and continued browsing the store.
He came to the selections of red oak and he stopped for a brief moment to savor the dream of working with a board that was already surfaced on the faces (thereby having a uniform thickness), unlike his red oak planks he had in his shed.
The dream was compelling, so much so that it nearly felt real at this moment. But the man's recently discovered pragmatism pushed aside the wonderful dream and snapped the man back to reality. It was in this somber state of reality that he saw the board.
"Hello there, friend. I am Curly, and I am beautiful and full of potential. Thank you for finding me."
The man was taken aback. He stepped away in disbelief. Did this piece of wood just speak? Surely not, for this was not a dream, this was reality.
We all know wood doesn't speak, particularly in reality!
He continued moving to other sections of the store. Maybe looking at some walnut would make it stop. But the walnut was plain and uninspiring. Aha, cherry! Maybe there was something nice in that stack. Pleasant enough, but nothing inspiring here either. The man quickly found other boards to look at, doing anything he could to avoid confronting this bizarre moment with Curly.
Curly? NO! Boards don't have names! This was foolishness. He kept browsing the store, even going back to the lovely piece of flame maple and discussing it with the storekeeper. He struggled to do all he could to avoid the stack of red oak. But the effort was futile.
Curly had cheated.
The man's father, the great tempter, was also browsing the store during this time. He had also seen the top of the red oak stack, and he saw that Curly was beautiful and full of potential.
"How many clock cases do you think you could get out of this one, Brian," the great tempter asked his son.
Had this been a sport, the man would have demanded a whistle be blown. He would have cried foul and raged at the referee. He would have thrown a chair, flung his visor, overturned the gatorade table, and kicked dirt at someone's shoes. But browsing hardwood lumber was no sport, it was serious business.
Curly was winning. The message was undeniable. The board was silently calling out to him, ever so politely. It was not standing there like a succubus, tempting and teasing with its wicked ways. No, it was just laying there silently, patiently; allowing the great tempter to do all the sinister sales pitch work. It was just laying there, so innocent and pure.
The man reluctantly returned to the red oak stack and gently pulled Curly's end out for a better look. The stack was priced at $3.50 per board foot. The man turned Curly over and checked it for wind (that's woodworker-speak for warping) and knots. The board was very good. It was ten feet in length, just under an inch thick, and about six inches in width. The wood grain had a natural figure in it, making the entire board look tiger striped. The man figured it to cost around $18.00. He wanted the board, but he had lots of red oak, and he knew his wife would not be pleased with him buying more.
But Curly was not willing to give in. This board was insistent. It was tired of sitting in the red oak stack and wanted to find a suitable home with someone who could help it achieve its potential. It knew that this was the man for the job, and it would not accept defeat. Curly had one last tool at its disposal.
The storekeeper had heard the great tempter's question to his son. He came over and saw which board was being discussed. Curly knew this was its chance.
"Most of the folks who come here won't buy that board because it is so narrow. If you like it, I'll let you have that board today for $3.00 a foot," said the storekeeper who had obviously been influenced by the piece of lumber.
The man sighed. That made the board about $15.00, and he now knew he was supposed to buy this board. He did not know, however, how he was going to explain the purchase to his wife. He told the storekeeper that he would take it, paid for the selection, and loaded it into his vehicle.
"You just stole that piece of wood. That's a nice board," said the man's father, the great tempter, as they pulled out of the parking lot.
Later that evening, the man quietly pulled into the driveway of his home and opened the garage door. He gently placed Curly in the garage, closed the door and headed upstairs where there was the wonderful smell of a freshly cooked dinner. His wife was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the meal. She turned to the man upon hearing him climb the stairs, and warmly greeted him. The man returned her smile and handed her the receipt for his purchase.
"What's this for?" she asked with a quizzical look.
"It's for the piece of red oak I purchased from the hardwood store in Apache Flats today," the man carefully responded.
"Red oak?!?! Why did you buy a piece of red oak? Don't you have a shed full of red oak?!?!?!" She was clearly not pleased.
"Yes, I do, but not like this piece. After dinner, come down and look at the board. You will understand. It is Curly."
She was still displeased, but was willing to reserve her final condemnation. They ate their dinner in peace, and headed down to the garage. The man opened the door for his wife and turned on the lights. His wife walked over to the board and ran her fingers over it as she gave it a thorough examination.
"It's beautiful, and is full of potential," she stated with decided approval.
The man simply smiled.
